


All I Want For Christmas Is... (Best Not Discussed In A Public Library, Really)

by agirlnamedtruth



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bickering, Blow Jobs, Bottom Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Christmas, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingerfucking, First Time, First Time Bottoming, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Safer Sex, Seasonal, Secret Santa, Sexual Tension, Teasing, Top Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-02-28 16:41:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2739569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/pseuds/agirlnamedtruth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin ends up with Arthur's name in the Secret Santa. What does one get for the prat that has everything? Certainly not what Merlin was expecting to be asked for, that's for sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want For Christmas Is... (Best Not Discussed In A Public Library, Really)

Merlin balled his fist, scrunching up the little scrap of paper a little bit more. Across from him, casually sipping a pint, all blonde hair and blue eyes and pouting lips was Arthur bloody Pendragon. And on the little piece of paper, in Morgana's barely legible writing, were the words Arthur bloody Pendragon. Ok, not Arthur _bloody_ Pendragon, per se, but it was his name. What did one get the prat that could afford to buy everything?

He glared up at Pendragon, setting his jaw like it was Arthur's fault he'd ended up stuck with him.

"I'm your Secret Santa," Merlin said bluntly. "What do you want?"

Arthur looked at him, incredulous for a beat, like he was a superhero revealing his secret identity, then his face went back to its default setting of assured arrogance and he shrugged. "I don't know. People tend to buy me socks. I don't think they know what else to get."

"Yes, well, if daddy didn't own half of England..."

"He doesn't," Arthur snapped defensively and Merlin smiled at the rise he'd gotten out of him. Arthur softened when Merlin didn't drop the smile. "It's more like two thirds."

"Don't go thinking I'm gonna get you the other third," Merlin said, laughing not at Arthur but more with him, for a second, at least. "And I'm not getting you socks, either. I'm not a middle aged woman shopping for her husband."

"I don't know what to suggest then," Arthur said, turning serious again. "You know you don't actually have to get me something. I mean... I don't need anything and you're not exactly... Well you're..."

"Fuck off, I can afford a Christmas present, dick," Merlin protested but in all honesty, he was glad he didn’t have to buy gifts for everyone.

It had been Gwaine's idea, their treasurer, though most suspected he drank more money than he managed. But what with the LGBT club becoming the latest popular niche to be a part of, buying for everyone, even using their money pot, was asking a bit much. Merlin wouldn't have even minded buying for his close friends but since the first year he’d spent here, his small band of misfit friends had swelled to at least a dozen and he was sure he was forgetting people even putting it at a dozen. There was Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Elyan, Lance... they seemed to come as a package deal. A cute if intense first year named Mordred. Morgana, Arthur's half sister and her girlfriend Gwen. A few other girls who also seemed to come as group, buy one get three free - Sophia, Vivian, Mithian, Elena. Then there was Arthur. He wasn't a friend exactly, more that one person everyone else loves and therefore he was impossible to avoid. And worse still, the prick was starting to grow on him. Like a fungus. Or an unwanted erection.

Merlin sighed, he had a paper to write and the urge to get to know Arthur was starting to become irritating. He drained his glass and made to stand but Arthur started to rise too, confusing him and stopping him in his tracks.

"You're not going, are you?" Arthur asked, his perfect arrogance flickering for a second. "I was hoping you could help me with my Secret Santa?"

"Who did you get?" Merlin asked, curious. Arthur knew everyone. Arthur got on with everyone. Everyone except him, that was.

"Freya." Arthur frowned, pulling out his piece of paper to prove it.

"Ah." Merlin sat back down.

"It's just you're the only one she really talks to. I was hoping maybe you'd dated or something." Arthur blushed and then coughed to try and cover it. "I mean, I wasn't _hoping_ , I just... look girls really aren't my area and I haven't got a clue, ok?"

"I've noticed," Merlin said, almost automatically taking the bait but he moved on quickly because... was Pendragon actually trying to flirt with him? "Girls _really_ aren't my area either but luckily for you, I've known her forever - as a friend - so I can point you in the right direction. And right now, the right direction is the bar, go get a round in while I write you a list. I'll have a JD and coke, as you're buying."

Merlin leaned down to retrieve a pen and paper from his bag and smiled up at him until he got up and went to the bar. The list was short and easy, so short he could have just told him. He turned, casually looking over his shoulder to check on Arthur and check him out while he was at it. Not that he hadn't looked before but this time, it was with the prospect of actually doing something about it. At the end of the list he added his number, an _M_ and an impulsive but badly thought out _x_.

"Here you go," Arthur said, handing him the glass, swapping it for the list.

Merlin downed the drink while Arthur read the list, hoping to be gone before Arthur got to the bottom.

"So," he said, getting Arthur's attention back by standing again. "Let me know if you think of anything for the Secret Santa thing. And please, make it something interesting. Something money can't buy."

"You're leaving? But I just got you a-" Arthur cut himself off when he saw the empty glass, looking a little put out. "Oh."

"Not that the company isn't wonderful but I have a paper to write. Another night, perhaps." Merlin threw his bag over his shoulder and started towards the door before Arthur could do something embarrassing like ask for the number he'd already given him.

He looked back when he was nearly out of sight, pleased to see Arthur smiling down at the piece of paper.

-x-

Merlin put his head down on the hard surface of the library table, next to the closed textbook he’d been trying to read. His eyes had started watering trying to make the small print unblur and he was sure for a second that it was his brain melting and running out through his tear ducts.

He’d known at the time that it was one drink too many. The one drink that meant he was mixing his drinks. The three drinks he’d had with his roommate Will when he’d gotten home, to settle his stomach and stop the panic rising in his throat, had certainly been too much. Fucking Pendragon, what was he doing to him?

“Merlin?” 

“Fuck off,” Merlin mumbled before he realised it was Arthur’s voice and he might well have crossed the line from hungover to dead. Or hallucinating, at the very least.

He looked up and blinked slowly. He was there. Arthur was there, sat across from him yet again.

“Up all night studying?” Arthur asked, sounding scarily sympathetic.

“If you like,” Merlin said, knowing full well that wasn’t what he’d been up all night doing. Wanking over the image of Arthur that swam slightly before his eyes, sure. Studying, not so much. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here now, supposedly away from all distractions.

“I thought so, that’s why I checked here first,” Arthur said, leaning forward and turning the book around. Seeing its long and complicated title, he winced. “You mentioned you had a paper due.”

“Yeah, I do...” Merlin hesitated. He should send Arthur away. He was a massive distraction. A distraction with bells on. Christmas bells. “Hey, did you think of something for your Secret Santa yet?”

“Sort of. That’s why I’m here.” Arthur looked around sheepishly, his hands starting to fiddle with nothing on the table.

“You could have texted,” Merlin said, noticing his nervousness and deciding to ease it. Making it clear he was _interested_ the only way he knew how. “I did give you my number.”

“I did. And I rang. Your phone’s off.” Arthur shrugged, casually blowing off the idea that he’d texted, phoned and hunted him down in person all before lunchtime. So it wasn’t flirting that was making him awkward, Merlin decided.

Then he processed Arthur’s words and pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying to tap it into life without luck. He’d just picked it up from his bedside on the way out; trusting it to notify him should the world end or Arthur text him. “So it is.”

Arthur smiled, seemingly pleased that Merlin wasn’t ignoring him on purpose. Not that he could very well ignore him now, even if he wanted to.

“Your Secret Santa then,” Merlin prompted, left with no other explanation for Arthur’s jumpiness. “It better be good this idea of yours if I’m going to abandon this frankly riveting essay I’m writing.”

“You haven’t written a word,” Arthur observed.

“You haven’t told me why you’re here. Stopping me from starting.” Merlin leaned over the table, leaning over the books and papers until the table edge stopped him from going any further. “What do you want, Arthur Pendragon?”

Merlin glanced down at Arthur’s lips involuntarily as Arthur took a breath, he was trying to look unfazed by Merlin’s sudden invasion of his personal space but there was the barest hitch in that breath, the barest blush on his cheek, the barest glint in his eye.

“You,” Arthur said bluntly, taking the power back.

Merlin blinked; dumbfounded for a second before his body finally got the message that he needed to sit back down before he fell into Arthur’s lap. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard.”

“I’m fairly sleep deprived and not quite with it, just so I’m sure I’ve not drifted off... say it again?”

“I want you,” Arthur affirmed, his tone unchanged, challenging almost.

Merlin swallowed, this time he was ready for it. This time he was making a note of Pendragon inappropriately propositioning him in a public library, just in case he needed to defend his honour later when he undoubtedly did something even more inappropriate in the same public library. 

“I know I said to pick something different and we both know I can’t afford anything flashy but I don’t quite have to resort to selling myself just yet, thank you.” Merlin rolled his eyes and pointedly took his textbook back from where it had sat forgotten between them in order to stop himself from vaulting over the table.

“I didn’t mean like that,” Arthur said hurriedly. “Well, I did but it’s not how you think. I’m not... I’m not trying to buy you. But you’re right. I can buy just about everything else. Everything but this.”

“ _This_? You mean me, right... because personal pronouns work better in a seduction than referring to me like I’m an inanimate object,” Merlin pointed out, annoyance mixing with, even fuelling, his urge to have him right there.

“No, I mean _this_ ,” Arthur said, standing by his grammar. “If I wanted you, and I do want you, don’t get me wrong, but if it was as simple as only wanting you, I could have had you by now. I’m not an idiot and I’m not blind, you’ve wanted me since the moment we met and that’s why you can’t just talk to me, you have to pick fights and antagonise me. It’s displacement.”

“No, it’s not, it’s reaction formation,” Merlin corrected without thinking, making Arthur raise an eyebrow. Merlin nodded down to the text book. “You wouldn’t know it to look at it but that’s easy reading for a third year psychology student. What you described is reaction formation. It would be displacement if I wanted you and then fucked Gwaine. Or punched him. It’s a fine line. Not that the rest is right, mind you.” 

“I just told you I want you and you want to argue semantics?” Arthur asked, staring at Merlin like he’d grown another head.

Merlin did his best not to backpedal at Arthur’s admittance, again, that he wanted him. Instead he smiled to himself then cocked his head to the side. “Yes, I do actually. Back to _this_ , what is this _this_ that you want if not just me?”

Arthur looked around himself again and Merlin had to hold back from sighing, they were making such progress as well. For a moment, he didn’t seem to be ashamed to be seen with the geeky, gangly kid from the intellectual side of the tracks.

“Can we discuss this somewhere else? I feel like the library isn’t the best place to negotiate a shag.” Arthur pulled his chair closer to the table and dropped his voice to the world’s most dramatic whisper.

“Is that what you’re doing?” Merlin whispered back, loudly as he could manage without actually raising his voice.

“I’ll buy you a drink,” Arthur offered then glanced up at the clock, deciding 10:43am was too early even for them. “I’ll buy you a coffee.”

Merlin hesitated, tempted. What was it with Arthur and his ability to tempt him away from his good intentions like he was the devil himself? But the paper was due tomorrow and if he gave in now... “I really do have work to do. Tomorrow night?”

“ _Mer_ lin...” Arthur said, dragging his name out like he was dragging his nails down his spine. It had just about the same effect on him though Merlin was sure there was no logical way it could be sexy.

“Alright, don’t whine,” Merlin said, pushing his desire under a layer of irritation. Displacement, Freud’s arse, he was the poster boy for reaction formation. The Merlin doth protest too much. He tried to keep his face straight and the thought from escaping from his lips, turning it into a world weary sigh instead. “This is the wrong book anyway, why don’t you come with me to find the right one and I’m sure you can get whatever’s on your chest, off it – we’ll keep it between you, me and the stacks. Unless you’re scared what the shelves will think of you too.”

Merlin stood, purposefully positioning the book as he did so, even though the spine of it hit his thighs with every step he took. It was awkward but a whole lot less awkward than walking out of sight with the university's most notorious player and his trousers more tented than a campsite in August. He hoped wherever she was, Morgana was having just as much trouble with her Secret Santa.

At least the embarrassment of walking past several tables as he was cured him of his problem and when he arrived in the darkened corner where the psychology books lived, he was able to return Freud to his proper place, mentally apologising to the old man.

"So," Merlin prompted, pretending to look for another book. "Let's hear it, what you couldn't just tell me out there."

He didn't look up because Arthur had already brazenly told him he wanted to shag him, he knew whatever was enough to make the great Pendragon shy was something he wouldn't be able to handle smoothly. He could already feel his ears burn just at the feel of Arthur leaning over his shoulder, the sound of his heart beating in the anticipatory silence that ran between them, the thought of the seclusion the stacks offered them.

For a second he thought Arthur was going to kiss him, his cheek or his neck or somewhere but he didn't. He pressed his mouth to Merlin's ear instead and whispered, "I want you to fuck me."

Merlin cleared his throat; it had never felt so dry in his life. His voice was scratchy when he finally could get words out. "Yes, we covered that one."

"No, you're not listening," Arthur pushed his face against Merlin's, almost nuzzling him if not for the sound of frustration he made. "I want _you_ to _fuck me_."

"As in..." Merlin knew what he wanted to say, he could picture it very clearly in his head but all words failed him.

"As in you top. I take it," Arthur said, each word coming on a hot breath. Merlin wasn't sure how much more he could take, the urge to just drop his pants and fuck Arthur against the bookshelf was starting to blot out every sensible thought he was still capable of having.

But he couldn't. Not without getting expelled. He grasped the edge of a shelf to anchor himself, try and pull himself back to reality, logic and reason. Three things Pendragon seemed to defy.

"Why?" Merlin asked, breaking the spell with one insecure word.

"What?" Arthur asked, dragging his head from Merlin's neck, where it had come to rest in the pause between mind shattering thoughts.

"Why now?" Merlin elaborated, cursing himself for sounding so vulnerable before. "You said if you wanted me, you could have had me by now. If it's so easy for you, why are you wasting your Secret Santa demand on little old me?"

"You wanted it to be something money couldn't buy, something special. This is special."

Merlin risked looking over his shoulder and found himself on the receiving end of that look of shyness again. This close, it looked almost like fear.

"Why?" Merlin asked again, his voice just as timid but this time because Arthur was exposed, not himself.

"I've never done it. I've never let anyone..." Arthur closed his eyes and drew himself up, trying again with more conviction, drawing upon that easy arrogance. "I've never bottomed before and I want to. And I want you to be the one I do it with, ok?"

"Ok," Merlin agreed, digging deep and trying to mimic Arthur's sudden casualness. "When you say you haven't bottomed but you want to - are we talking _you shall not pass_ , nothing at all, not even a pinky or you want it so bad that you've shoved everything but the kitchen sink up there?"

"Is this really necessary?" Arthur asked, turning a glorious shade of pink. "I've never been fucked by another man, I've always topped, can't we leave it at that?"

Merlin turned to face him properly, putting on his best stern expression. "I need to know these things. If you're a complete virgin, so to speak, then we're probably going to need to have a long, awkward conversation about your end of things. So to speak."

"We don't."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me," Arthur said, sighing when Merlin didn't let up. "I've experimented... with toys... of near realistic size."

Merlin had to hold back a smile. Anyone would think he's asked Arthur to admit to kicking puppies the way he shuffled his way through the confession.

"How near?" Merlin asked, even though he didn't strictly need to know. Part of him wanted to watch Arthur squirm a bit more; the other part wanted a more realistic mental picture.

"That depends," Arthur shot back. "Do you want to do a show and tell?"

"Alright, alright," Merlin gave in. "You know the drill then. Shall we say Friday night? We can go for drinks first if you need the courage."

"You'll do it then?" Arthur asked, an excited smile lighting up his face. It was like he didn't believe Merlin would actually agree to it.

"Sure, why not?" Merlin said with a shrug even though his heart seemed to be simultaneously in his throat and his stomach. It had been all he could do not to suggest that night but fuck, that paper really was due.

"Great!" Arthur hit him on the shoulder, nearly sending him toppling into the bookcase behind him but he knew among the sporting crowd, it was a compliment. "Shall I text you?"

"Why don't I text you?" Merlin suggested, turning and sliding a book off the shelf at random, sending thoughts of cold water to his cock while he was at it. "That way I might actually get some work done."

Arthur caught him as he turned, pushing him back into the shelves and kissing him suddenly, knocking Merlin for six. In all their talking about fucking, Merlin had never considered Arthur might kiss him. Not that he was complaining.

Arthur pulled away, seemingly taking Merlin's ability to breathe with him because as Arthur let out a heavy breath, Merlin found himself quite breathless. And flushed. And unable to think straight. And fucking hard again.

"Good luck with that, Merlin," Arthur said under his breath, his fingers lingering on Merlin's hips until they had to fall away as Arthur took a step back.

When he'd taken enough steps and was nearly out of sight, Merlin let himself rest against the bookcase, thankful the thing was bolted to the floor.

Arthur Pendragon was annoying. Infuriating. And a fucking cocktease. But it didn't matter because he was going to fuck him. And he was going to be the first to fuck him. And he could fuck him knowing he was the first to fuck him. Merlin grinned to himself, happy as a kid at Christmas.

-x-

 _Ready?_ Merlin texted him, an hour before he was due to meet him. Only fifty eight or so hours had passed between Merlin’s promise to text him and actually letting himself do it. Part of it was playing hard to get, after Arthur had proved just how easy he was to get and the other half was his passive aggressive way of seeing if Arthur would break, back down or apologise for blue-balling him in the middle of the psychosexual development section – leaving him way too sexual and perhaps a little bit psycho. The less said about what developed, the better.

 _Are you?_ he got in response, his eyes rolling automatically, even though Arthur wasn’t there to see his attempt to pretend his stomach hadn’t dropped through the floor in anticipation.

 _Fuck you_ , Merlin tapped out furiously then hit send, flushing.

 _That a yes then?_ came before the screen had even faded to black.

 _YES!_ Merlin sent before thinking. He gave himself five seconds to come to his senses before he gave in and followed it up with, _Fuck it, shall I just start walking now?_

He lingered, one hand on the door and the other reaching for his coat when he got an equally enthusiastic, desperate, capitalised reply. 

Less than five minutes later, he was at Arthur’s dorm room door, still trying to come up with something decent to say that wouldn’t make him look like he was completely sex starved, sex crazed or sexually inept.

The idea of words dissolved into nothing when Arthur opened the door, carrying his shirt rather than wearing it. “Sorry, I’m not quite ready. Did you still want to do the whole drink thing or shall we just...”

Merlin was vaguely aware of getting past the doorframe and past the shirt and somehow finding his hands on Arthur’s cheeks, his strong jaw beneath his fingers, before the idea that he really should have said something before kissing Arthur occurred to him.

But luckily for him, Arthur seemed to accept his practically jumping on him as a viable answer to his question and dragged Merlin inside properly, kicking the door closed behind them and pushing Merlin against it. He could vaguely feel every place his body hit the hard frame of the door but all he could think about was Arthur’s hands grabbing at him, pulling and pushing at his clothes and skin, not giving him a second to explain himself.

When Arthur finally released him, it was him that got the first word in. “What I said was true then. You do want me.”

“I don’t remember saying I didn’t...” Merlin said, knowing he could have said anything and not remembered it in that second.

“You like to pretend you don’t though, right? I mean, I was right,” Arthur said again and Merlin tried to blink his way back to clarity.

“Do I have to say it?” Merlin asked, not meaning to be difficult but he just couldn’t bring himself to stroke Arthur’s ego, not when he’d made it crystal clear how much he wanted him by throwing himself on him like some sort of clinging sea creature. Merlin shook his head, assuring himself it wasn’t as bad as all that. Maybe he could say it, put it out there, so they both knew where they stood. “Yes, I want you, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”

“Good.” Arthur nodded, pleased with his admittance. “Isn’t that easier than calling me a prat and telling me to fuck off?”

The smile that Arthur gave him was the one that annoyed him the most, the smug, _I’m everything you want and I know it..._ smile. This close, he couldn’t suppress the way it made him flush, heat rising in his cheeks because it shouldn’t be so infuriatingly hot, only infuriating. Arthur’s hand was still on him, lazily rubbing his thumb over Merlin’s hipbone. He glanced down, raising an eyebrow, pretending it was Arthur’s touch that made him blush and using it to turn it back towards him.

“Yes, well, you could have been _nice_ like you are now rather than acting like a prat in the first place.” Merlin put his hands over Arthur’s, reluctantly returning them to Arthur’s person and stepping around him. “When you said you weren’t ready...?”

Merlin trailed off, turning back to him. The real question was _can we fuck already?_ but he couldn’t very well say that, so he let the question hang in the air until Arthur picked it up, shaking his head then nodding, not quite sure which action was right.

“No, I am. I’m _ready_ , I just wasn’t dressed properly,” Arthur clarified before chucking the crumpled shirt, still balled in his fist from where he’d been groping Merlin with it, onto the floor. “Not that that’s important anymore.”

Merlin laughed despite himself, looking around the room for something to sit on and only finding the two beds that dominated the dorm room, just like the ones in his own room and every other room on campus.

“I’m surprised daddy hasn’t got you your own flat in the town. That’s what the rest of you rich kids do, isn’t it?” Merlin smiled to soften his words, they’d come out a little harsher than he meant. For once, he wasn’t mocking Arthur, he was merely curious.

“I wanted to live on campus. I like it,” Arthur said, looking away. Merlin could see there was more to it than that but if Arthur didn’t want to tell him, he wasn’t going to pry.

“Well, I’m glad your roommate has buggered off, anyway. Will wouldn’t afford me the same luxury if he thought there was a chance he could cockblock me,” Merlin muttered as he made himself comfortable on the bed he assumed was Arthur’s by the bright red sheets. Arthur didn’t half have an affinity with the colour red. “I hope he won’t be back any time soon.”

“It’s Gwaine,” Arthur said, shaking his head. “He might not be back until Gradation if he finds a pub that’s not already barred him and someone whom he hasn’t already shagged.”

“Ah, good.” Merlin smiled, reassured. Gwaine wouldn’t be back before dawn. Not if he had half an inkling of what was going on between them. He might stand with a glass to the door and try to listen in but he wouldn’t outright disturb them, he’d been singing Arthur’s praises to him since the moment he introduced them. Merlin wouldn’t put it past him to have a hand in this, somehow.

Arthur hesitated for a second, that tell tale flicker in his smooth facade letting Merlin know that he wasn’t completely insufferable; there was a decent bloke under all the bravado, somewhere. Merlin held out a hand, his face serious so he didn’t seem patronising. 

“Come here, before he does come back,” Merlin said, taking the lead without making it look like he was leading him. When Arthur took a step and took his hand, he pulled him down onto the bed beside him, catching him off guard and kissing him, trying to recapture the way he’d kissed him before, the way that made everything else but them kissing seem irrelevant. 

This time, he let his hands run over Arthur’s bare chest instead. His attempts at self-control not mattering since he made it clear he was here because he wanted to be, not just for the Secret Santa thing. Arthur had already told him that he wanted him, he’d already kissed him and touched him and left him breathless, Merlin really didn’t see the point in clinging to modesty now. Especially not when Arthur was leaning in closer, kissing him harder, his own hands firmly planted on Merlin’s thighs.

Merlin dared to drift lower, brushing gently over the hard muscle that several sports had given Arthur, until he ran out of bare skin and his fingers bumped over the top of Arthur’s jeans. He broke the kiss, keeping Arthur close but ducking out of the way when he tried to kiss him again. “This ok?”

“Yes, it’s fine, kiss me again,” Arthur said, his tone so brattishly impatient that Merlin wondered if he’d even heard him.

“I will, just focus for a second,” Merlin said, pulling further back even though there was nothing more he’d like than to give in and give Arthur what he wanted. “You’ve not done this before; I need to know if you’re comfortable with it, if you’re not, whatever. Just tell me, even if you have to vocalise every thought that goes through your head, I need to know.”

“I know what I want, Merlin, so please _shut up_...” Arthur said, the last two words a demand that seemed to be weighted with desire and frustration and that sense of entitlement that made Merlin want to deny him for even longer, just to see how hot for it he’d get.

“When I said you could vocalise every thought, I didn’t quite think it through,” Merlin said, holding himself out of reach but he wasn’t quite able to stop his hands from stroking Arthur’s skin, teasing the metal button on Arthur’s jeans. “Things like that you can probably keep to yourself.”

“ _Merlin_ , I swear to God...” Arthur dragged Merlin closer to him by his shirt, barely keeping both their balance and kissing him to shut him up. Merlin had to admit it worked exceptionally well and was almost as pleasurable as arguing with him. Arthur, still using the fabric of his shirt to control him, pushed Merlin back again, until he found himself no longer sitting but lying on Arthur’s bed, Arthur’s head blocking his view of the ceiling. Ok, maybe he liked it a little more than arguing with him.

In this spirit of not arguing, he reached again for the zip on Arthur’s jeans, not teasing for even a second this time around. As if to reward his decisive action, Arthur pressed his hips down, pushing his cock against Merlin’s own, the split second of friction through both their jeans making him scramble to get Arthur’s off him faster. He followed Arthur up as he kneeled to pull the jeans off the rest of the way, unable to stop kissing him until, freed of his own clothing, Arthur began pulling at Merlin’s shirt, forcing him to separate himself from Arthur for at least a second as it was taken off him.

The breath was almost knocked out of him when Arthur pushed him back down into the mattress, his body flush against him, covering him. He could feel Arthur’s bare chest against his own and his jeans felt too tight, too constricting, keeping him from feeling Arthur properly everywhere else. He surged up, rolling Arthur onto his side and then onto his back, purely so he could get his own trousers off but when Arthur gasped, his smirk replaced with a small but genuine smile, Merlin remembered why he was there, what Arthur had asked for. What Arthur wanted.

Merlin pressed his own hips down, matching Arthur’s technique. Merlin had to remember that for all Arthur’s bravado, for all his natural inclination to dominate a room and everyone in it, tonight he wanted to be fucked. Merlin knew that didn’t have to mean that he wanted to have his usual role completely reversed but there were some admittances that Merlin couldn’t ignore. Like the way Arthur arched up into him, not trying to retake the power but instead trying to get Merlin to give him more, take more from him in kisses and touches. It would be so easy to give into Arthur, to take control completely and give into every little fantasy he’d ever had about topping the hell out of him. But that would be irresponsible, thoughtless, careless, heartless. Merlin eased up, forcing Arthur to kiss him slowly, forcing himself not go straight for his cock the instant he had his jeans off. It was Arthur’s first time, he had to remember that. Even if he was a prat.

Determined to take his time, Merlin let his hands settle on Arthur’s hips, using them as an anchor as he planned his path downwards. Leaving Arthur’s mouth, despite Arthur’s protests, Merlin kissed his way along Arthur’s jaw, nuzzling for a moment in his neck until his complaints ceased. He pressed one final kiss to Arthur’s neck before he drew his knees up under him, making it clear to Arthur that he intended to work his way further down, stopping briefly at his collarbone before following it down to Arthur’s breastbone, torn between dipping left or right first. Following the feel of Arthur’s heart beating beneath his mouth, turning subtly to the left as Arthur raised his chest off the bed, trying to speed Merlin along. Following Arthur’s lead, he lowered his mouth over Arthur’s nipple, sucking gently until he could feel it hard under his tongue. His fingers tightened on Arthur’s hips as he tried to push up further into Merlin’s mouth, always wanting more than he had even though he knew he had it all. Merlin retraced his way back to the centre then chased the other nipple, ducking out of the way of Arthur’s hands, no doubt an attempt to force him down quicker. He raised one hand to swat them away for good measure, knowing patience wasn’t a word he associated with Pendragon.

Merlin flicked his gaze back up to Arthur’s face for a second, finding him led back against the mattress and his hands up behind his head now, as if to stop himself from getting to impatient, just as much as Merlin had tried to stop him. Yet for all his obvious signs of holding himself back, Merlin couldn’t help but notice the hesitation. The very fact he was holding himself back at all surprised Merlin enough for him to resume his path down, as if to reward him for trying so hard. 

But the feeling wouldn’t leave him, that flicker of hesitation he felt in Arthur. When he got to his hip, he pressed his face into it, taking a second to inhale the scent of him, feel his skin, memorise what it was like to nearly fuck the great Arthur Pendragon before he asked, “Are you sure you’re sure about this?”

Arthur propped himself up on his elbows, glaring down at him. “Of course I’m sure. I said I’m sure. Do you think I would have asked if I wasn’t? Do you think I would have even told you if I didn’t completely trust you?” Arthur paused for a second, taking a deep breath. “Please, Merlin, stop arguing with yourself and with me, if you don’t want to do it, that’s fine but if you do-”

“I do!” Merlin said hastily, pressing a kiss to Arthur’s hip bone. “Course I do.”

“Good.” Arthur flung himself back on the bed. “I’m glad we agree. Now can we actually do something about it?”

“Yes, Sir, anything you say,” Merlin muttered to himself, smirking when Arthur’s head bobbed back up to glare at him again.

He raised one eyebrow as he wrapped his hand around Arthur’s cock, raising the other as he lowered his lips to the head. He grinned as Arthur tried to lift his hips up only for Merlin to push them back down again. Tongue tracing circles around the head before he took the whole length in, sucking until he had to pull back up to breathe. 

Arthur’s hand found the back of his head but to his credit, he didn’t push him down, he just stroked Merlin’s hair and the back of his neck, breathing heavily every time Merlin went down as far as he could. When Arthur threatened to come, he pulled back gently, continuing his way down to Arthur’s balls, running his tongue over the soft skin. He could still taste the natural musk of his skin under the more chemical taste of shower gel and shaving foam. He considered making a remark about how Arthur had shaved just for him but decided he was better off keeping his mouth shut and his attention focused on preparing him.

Nudging his legs further apart, Merlin covered Arthur's cock and balls with his hand and held them up out of the way as he brought his mouth to Arthur's hole, that same mix of skin and shaving foam greeting him. He pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin before he raised his head.

"Lube?" he asked, glancing around in case he'd missed it.

"Second drawer down," Arthur answered with a wave of his hand.

"Don't worry, I'll get it, you relax," Merlin said, only half sarcastically. In his heart, he really did want Arthur to relax. He wanted to make it as good for him as he could. He wanted Arthur to be glad he'd asked him and not one of the string of boyfriends he'd had. He wanted Arthur to think back to this shag years from now and remember just how lovingly he'd had his arse worshiped by geeky skinny Merlin Emrys who hadn't watched a single sport in his life and was proud of that fact. Merlin grabbed the lube from the drawer, smiling to himself at the very thought. He'd have to buy Morgana some flowers or something for setting him up as Arthur's secret Santa.

He flipped the cap open, the scent of fruit making him frown. "Flavoured lube, really?"

"It was half price," Arthur explained but the flustered look he'd gotten rather suggested otherwise.

"Sure it was," Merlin said before squirting some onto his fingers. 

Keeping the bottle within reach, he returned his attention to Arthur's arse, running circles around his hole, spreading the lube over it before letting his curiosity get the better of him as he bent down and licked away all his good work. The taste was tart on his tongue, sharp but sweet and oddly moreish.

"That's not actually bad," Merlin muttered, his voice muffled as he spread Arthur's cheeks further apart and settled between them, lapping up the lube as he rimmed Arthur like a man starved. 

When he felt Arthur's hand in his hair again, he reluctantly pulled back, glancing up to see Arthur sprawled, panting, one hand lazily stroking up and down his cock. "Merlin, fuck me already. Please."

"Alright, keep your... well, hold your horses," Merlin said, scrambling for the lube again. 

This time, he didn't bend to his curiosity or any of his own desires, although he would have been perfectly happy to spend the rest of his days with Arthur and a life time supply of his lube. Instead he focused on positioning Arthur, spreading his legs and arse cheeks as open as he could while admiring the beautifully tense muscles in his thighs and the perfect round of his arse. Maybe sports were the way forward, he thought to himself as he eased his finger past the ring of muscle. Even if Arthur had done this himself, he knew it was still something else to give up that control and have someone else do all the hard work. The sharp hitch of breath as Merlin pushed in past the first knuckle was so raw, so sexual that Merlin nearly pushed harder. But he couldn't, he had to go slow, even if it killed him. 

"Shh, it's alright," he said quietly, laying his hand over Arthur's, coaching him back into the long languid strokes that he'd been giving himself before. "I'll go slower."

Merlin worked the finger out again slowly, keeping it above that first knuckle until Arthur's skin started to flush again.

"Better?" he asked, pressing a kiss to Arthur's hip and smiling up at him.

Arthur nodded, the uncertainty starting to dissipate under Merlin's hands. He squirted some more lube over his fingers, just to be sure before he slid back in, this time going all the way. Arthur's breath hitched again but this time, he pushed down against Merlin's hand, seeking more. While the lube was still wet, Merlin tried two fingers, straight down to the first knuckle and past it, speeding up his hand on Arthur's cock.

"Fuck, Merlin," Arthur said, drawing his name out like it had a few extra syllables. "There, there."

Merlin bit his lip in concentration, curling his fingers upwards again until Arthur was practically fucking his hand, every muscle in his toned body trying to get closer to him. Another thing Merlin could have done all day but instead, he tore himself away, rising up onto his knees and leaning back down again, kissing Arthur as he curled his fingers again, deeper.

"Do you want me to fuck you now?" Merlin asked, between kisses, his lips barely touching Arthur's, making him lean up to close the gap.

"Yes, Merlin," Arthur mumbled out, his hand grasping at Merlin's shoulder, trying to pull him down into another kiss.

"How? How do you want to be fucked?" Merlin asked, teeth grazing at Arthur's bottom lip as he imagined all the ways he could have him. 

"Like this?" He pushed his hips down into Arthur's, curling his fingers again. "Or on your knees? You on top? Anything you want."

"Like this." Arthur arched up again, this time capturing Merlin's lips, tongue hot against his own, sapping at the last reserves of patience he had. “So I can see you.”

Merlin laid a kiss on his lips before reaching back down to his jeans, pulling a condom packet from the pocket and ripping it open with his teeth. Rolling it over his cock and coating it liberally in Arthur's lube, he repositioned himself between Arthur's spread legs. He watched Arthur's eyes for any glint of discomfort or fear as he pushed slowly inside him, getting equally lost in the intensity of his eyes and the heat surrounding his cock.

Merlin cleared his throat, his voice getting caught in it for a moment. "Alright?"

Arthur made a noise that sounded positive although didn't quite qualify as a word.

"Vocalise, remember?" Merlin encouraged. "Good, bad, left, right, slower, faster?"

"Quieter?" Arthur suggested but he moved Merlin's hand from his thigh back onto his softening cock. "It's intense," he said, giving in to Merlin's questions. "But keep going, slowly."

Merlin nodded, balancing his weight between one hand on the mattress and his parted knees so that he could thrust into him and stroke his cock at the same time, slow and steady until Arthur was hard again. He watched for every breath, every hint at what Arthur was feeling and reacted to it, angling his hips deeper, pushing further, stroking faster until he could barely focus on himself, holding back his own pleasure because his every thought was of Arthur. He shouldn’t have been surprised really, every time he was in the same room as him, he occupied his every thought and to share a bed with him, to feel him beneath his body, sharing the same air, the same sweat, the same words and thoughts, passed between them in whispers that barely made sense, it was a foregone conclusion that he couldn’t think of anything else but him. He pressed his forehead into Arthur’s shoulder for a moment, pushing back everything he was feeling and fucking Arthur with renewed resolve.

“Fuck,” Arthur swore, his nails digging into Merlin’s hips, drawing him in again. “There, right there.”

Merlin smiled into the crook of his neck, kissing back along the line of his jaw until he found his lips again, gradually picking up his speed until he felt Arthur tense under his hand, strands of come smeared over Arthur’s chest by Merlin’s hand, still stroking him through it as he slowed his pace again.

When Arthur laid a hand on his chest, stilling him, face flushed and cock still twitching with aftershocks, Merlin pulled out. Ridding himself of the condom, he quickly jerked himself off to the beautiful image of a shagged out Pendragon under him, his own come repainting Arthur’s chest. Unable to keep his balance, he let Arthur pull him down beside him on the bed.

“Well,” Merlin said after a moment. “Was it everything you wished for?”

Arthur looked at him sideways. “We fucked, we didn’t go to Disney Land.”

“You know what I mean,” Merlin argued, to tired and content to care about Arthur’s defensiveness. “I know this meant a lot to you, just want to know you’re happy.”

“Yes, alright,” Arthur said with a begrudging smile. “I’m happy, I’m vocalising, I’m telling you how I feel which is fucking wonderful. I would say it was perfect but then what would I ask for next Christmas.”

Merlin found the energy to roll his eyes before setting his head down on Arthur’s shoulder again. “If you think it’s going to take me a year to actually take you for that drink, you are more of an idiot than I thought. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“This,” Arthur said, titling Merlin’s head up and kissing him.

“Good, me too,” Merlin agreed, kissing him back.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for last year’s December Theme at [Merlin Writers](http://merlin-writers.livejournal.com) where I chose the prompt "The uni LGBT has a naughty wish list. Arthur's wish is to be a bottom--something he's never done. Merlin draws his name." - I sort of drifted from that a little bit to make the plot work, but it has the same happy ending ;)
> 
> As of 01/01/18, I'm opting to disable comments. [More information here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13077201).


End file.
